"Follow Your Instinct"

People keep harping on about the wonderfulness and the awesomeness of 'Instinct'. Books and Movies keep glorifying characters who rely primarily on their intuition or instinct. From what one sees, hears and reads, the definition of instinct, as i gather it is the gut feeling that warns people about problematic situations and helps them overcome the same. It is often shown that blindly trusting your instinct is a good thing, and one must always go with it. You get the drift, right? Characters like Hercule Poirot from Agatha Christie, the Jew-Killer from Inglourious Basterds, Michael Weston from Burn Notice and countless other heroes/villains have this legendary power of control over instinct. Of course, i could've named more famous people, but this is what comes to mind.

Now here's my complaint. It doesn't work for me. Maybe i'm like George Coztanza in "The Opposite", and my instincts are self destructive; or maybe i don't know what my instincts are, but the point is that every time i follow my instincts, i end up like a fool. People don't talk about the huge risk that you're taking every time you follow your instincts. Lines like "Follow your heart, and not your mind" have become clichés.

Theory 1:

Maybe i don't recognize my instincts and i'm trying too hard to follow them. This is probably what a counsellor or the logical thinker will tell you. Maybe i'm looking for a quick fix to a problem and i'm expecting too much from my instincts. Maybe instinct is meant to be used sparingly.

Theory 2:

Maybe what i'm following isn't really my instinct, and i've tapped into what i think is my instinct. In my desperation to reach that level-of-awesome-intuition maybe i'm ignoring my instincts.

Theory 3:

Maybe instincts don't exist and it's all a media farce. Maybe it's all a ruse to get people to purchase items based on what they think is their instinct when it's just pure stupidity. Refer: Point of Purchase Marketing.

Theory 4:

The world doesn't exist and we're living in a simpler version of the matrix. Neo doesn't exist. Everything is an illusion, and enlightenment doesn't exist.

Theory 5:

People eventually got tired of the constricted nature of briefs and went on to boxers. However, what they didn't know was that the race of boxers were just extremely pissed off at missing out on Christmas, and the death of Muhammad Ali didn't really help matters for the human race. I know this theory leaves females out, but well, they got Feminine Intuition, didn't they? Fucking misers.

Theory 6:

ZEITGEIST SUCKS ASS!

The Point:

Every time i follow what i think are my instincts, i get fucked. Be it in Fantasy Premier League, or in GTA, or in the exams. As Ricky Gervais rightfully said: "Fucked". I'm sure it doesn't exist. The same goes for Feminine Intuition.

PS: Bang Bang; Something Stupid; These Boots Are Made For Walkin' and the whole Greatest Hits album, really. Nancy Sinatra.