Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Food & Its Awesomeness

People judge. That, in my opinion, is the basic rule of existence in this world. You're going to be judged by all that you do and don't do, intentionally or unintentionally. One simply cannot do an action in the presence of others, or one that they know of without being judged for it. This, i think, is the one of the cons of being given the ability to choose what we want. Of course, once you're judged, it's very hard to negate it's effect on the way people treat you/talk to and about you from then on. Hence, first impressions matter a great deal. Personally, i love judging people, much as i hate being judged myself. One of my favourite tactics is: Food.

I see people eat all the time. At my canteen, outside my house, in my house, in my friends houses, wherever i go. Hence, i can say with a good deal of confidence that i can know a person by the way they eat, what they eat, and most importantly, why they think that they eat the way they eat. I will go so far as to myself a food connoisseur, if you will. I place a great deal of (somewhat unnecessary) emphasis on food, and being a diehard foodie (fuck you, judge me all you want), i feel this is justified.

First, let me tell you about my habits. I have two clear demarkations which define how i eat on a particular day. My money status ie Lots Of Money or No Money. Let's look at No Money first: On college days, i wake up and head straight to college, most probably with nothing in my stomach apart from milk or badaam. Then, no food in college, apart from maybe some biscuits or a small vada paav. Then, the next meal will be at home (lunch). After that, i'll go wherever i have to go, and probably grab some more vada paavs at the station. Dinner at home, again, and then nothing till breakfast. Now, let's look at the Lots Of Money scenario. Wake up in the morning and run to the sandwich wala. Grab a quick sandwich as an excuse to get change for the cab ride to college. Then, in my break, i grab a pepsi/chole puri or whatever. After lectures are done, i'll probably have a tri cone outside college at Shree Sai. Maybe even another maaza, or puri bhaji/misal paav. Then, the cab ride home. Just before reaching home, i'll grab a nimbu paani. A small lunch (just for the name) at home. Then off to the chinese waala with whoever i can drag along for some triple chicken. Then, some respite for the stomach till evening, when i'll either have paratha or bread butter. Then again, a small dinner, and sleep. Sounds great, does it not? It really is.

You know, i really see no point in telling you how i judge you when i see you eat, seeing that you're judging me right now. Seeing that you've JUDGED me now. So, yet again, i haven't accomplished what i set out to accomplish, but i do feel satisfied. So, yet again, i won't fulfil the aim of the post.

I WILL, however, give you one small example of my judgement methods. If i hear someone say, "I eat my food slowly as i like to enjoy every morsel", then all my respect for them is gone. One cannot enjoy food by eating it slowly. The aim of eating is to fill the stomach, and enjoy yourself in the process, not the other way around. Why prolong torture? Fill the stomach fast, and after that is accomplished, enjoy the food all you want. If you can't enjoy food on a full stomach, then you can't really call yourself a food-appreciator.

Little known trivia: There exist in the stomach, two separate compartments, clearly demarcated for food. One, is the starters and main course compartment; and the other is a dessert compartment. The two function completely independently of each other. One can be empty and craving food, and the other can be painstakingly full. They do NOT share food. When one eats, one must take into consideration both compartment's needs.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Laziness Anonymous

It's been almost 2 weeks since the rains started, and i haven't even gotten wet once. Pathetic. What's happened to my old self? Last year, i got wet almost every time it rained, be it on walks or mini cycle expeditions; and last year's rain turnout (yes, i like to call it that) was dreadful. Year before last, i got wet the most number of times; and most significantly, i lost a LOT of weight cycling in the rain. And cycling in the rain, by the way, isn't that easy. But the best experience, easily, was in my FY degree college, during those magical month(s) when i was still in Xaviers. Full force wind, full force rain, no traffic, marine drive. Easily one of my best memories. I couldn't hear shite because of the roaring wind, which also kept throwing me off course. The rain was coming down so hard, that i stung my face, and i actually felt like i was in a huge fucking shower. I cycled for about an hour around town, and then stopped for some 'garma garam' vada pav, a sandwich, and a chai. The best part about all of this was that i didn't have an ipod. So i could actually enjoy everything around me, and not be distracted. Now, whenever i walk around, i barely notice anything, too intent on my fucking music. And yet, i don't miss not having an ipod. I don't seem to miss them happy memories.

I see myself now. I'm either at home doing nothing; or chilling out with friends; or jamming; or at college. I've had so many oppurtunities to get my cycle repaired, and yet, i don't do it. I could've gone for a walk, but i chose not to, again. I could've just gone to my terrace, and yet, i chose to fucking sit on facebook and torture myself with that heavenly pit-patter in the background. Why is this happening? Where is my enthusiasm? Why can't i push myself to make the smallest effort?

Why am i so content with watching TV, sitting on facebook, reading blogs, reading my mail, checking my band ka site, and sitting at home? Why can't i just 'wander' like i used to?

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Musical Intolerance Anonymous

I will now proceed to narrate two seperate incidents. Both involve the opinions (and hence the actions) of Bombay music 'fans'.

Incident 1: I-Rock (ie Independence Rock) 2008. The venue was this huge playground in Andheri, and there was a whole list of kickass bands that were set to compete, like Black and (eventual winners) Silver. There was also one band (i forget the name) from the 'North East'. This Band From the North East had the usual four instrumentalists ie Guitarist, Bassist, Drummer and Vocalist. In addition to these, they also had a DJ and a rapper; and their music was a mix of rock and rap elements. Sounds a lot like Linkin Park, right? No. They actually covered Metalingus by Alter Bridge (This was the Edge's theme song. Yes. The Edge. From WWE. Not U2), and their vocalist nailed the high parts. 'Twas fuckin' insane, and i loved 'em. Sadly, the crowd didn't feel the same. The moment they stepped on stage, the crowd saw the rapper in his baggy pants, long jersey, weird-ass bandana etc (You know the stereotype), and immediately started booing. Their set was tight, and pretty good, in my opinion; but they got booed off stage. Just because they had a rapper.

Incident 2: I'm at college, and this girl comes to me and asks me what i'm listening to. She sees Jay-Z & Linkin Park - Dirt Off Your Shoulders/Lying From You on my ipod; and immediately shrieks something about how hip hop really isn't music, and how Linkin Park is for 'wannabes'. She then sees CCR on my ipod and goes: "Why can't you listen to some of the other stuff on your ipod? Like CCR. They're so good." I wasted about half an hour trying to justify myself to her. Didn't work. For the rest of my time at college, i'm now branded as 'that hip hop liker'.

In a way, i like talking to non-musicians about music, because they are very rarely biased when it comes to genres. I find that they can listen to disco, hip hop, heavy metal and even jazz; and appreciate all of them in their own way. They won't judge me if they see me listening to Jay-Z or Franz Ferdinand. Somewhere along the line, musicians lose this.

The point here is: The Bombay audience is NOT musically tolerant. I know people who judge me because i listen to punk rock, to hip hop, to funk, and even to pop. If i listen to punk rock, then i'm an amateur musician who can barely play anything, so i make do with simple songs. If i listen to pop, then i don't know shite about music anyway. If i listen to hip hop, then don't even consider me, because hip hop doesn't count as music. If i listen to progressive music, specifically progressive rock, then respect, because that shit is only meant for true listeners. Respect, even if i really 'donno shite'.

The music i listen to does not define the kind of person i am. The person i am dictates the kind of music i listen to; and i tell myself that i should be able to appreciate any kind of music.

PS: I could've researched and gotten all the necessary names; but then i decided not to on account of laziness and sleepiness.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Weighing Adam Lambert

Now see here, let me tell you straight out that i'm no fan of American Idol. In my opinion, the show is nothing but an overdose of overhyped judgemental gallantry along with camera staring contestants. I watch episodes selectively, and only for the music. Now, I don't mean to sound like them Metallica fans who love Megadeth "for the music", but i sincerely feel that the music on American Idol just about makes up for the theatrics and Paula Abdul, and that is QUITE an achievement.

I remember seeing the episode in which Slash was the mentor; i mean, i can see now the reason why his face is hidden in most of his videos. Anyhow, in the same episode, Kris did Come Together by the Beatles; and the Dude With The Glasses did Dream On by Aerosmith. I missed Allison's performace, and i'm gonna dedicate a full paragraph (!) to what Adam did in the same episode. That's my dedication to the vocal brilliance that is Adam Lambert. Anyway, I remember wanting to murder the Dude With The Glasses after hearing his scream. Let's face it, this season, we all know who the true screamer is. What really pissed me off, though, was the fact that the judges kept going: "Oh, that's not his genre, you see. He's not a rock-guy at heart. He should've just stuck to Rod Stewart. Let's give him another chance" and suchshite. What, pray, is the point of getting Slash as a mentor if you're not even gonna sing his genre? Why let the Dude With The Glasses stay just because he was out of his comfort zone. The aim, surely, is to perform regardless of the situation presented to you, isn't it? I mean, look at Kris. Personally, i think his version of Come Together was FUCKIN' A. I loved it. Now see, this isn't because of a personal bias. I hate the song. I've had to perform it with 3 different bands, and i'm SICK (to the core) of the groove. But still, i enjoyed it. I mean, don't look at it all oh-there's-nothing-different-about-it. If you like the groove, you like the song; and i think Paula and the other humpers overjudged Kris a bit there. But don't get me wrong, i hate Kris as well. Anyway, now to the previously promised paragraph (check the alliteration!).

The paragraph about Adam Lambert. This is it. The first time a Zeppelin song was done on the show. Man, if there were a single guy in the world i'd turn gay for, it'd be Adam Lambert. Even though a whole lotta people might've hated the performace, you've gotta give a whole lotta love to Adam for doing a Zeppelin song, in the first place. I mean, this isn't Rockstar Supernova, this is American Idol. The moment you do something like that, you alienate probably half of your own fans, and unite all the other contestants fans against you. And yet, he came out on top. Man, is he awesome.

You know, i sincerely thought that this post would be one with a point. I actually thought i'd end this post with 'what i'm basically trying to say is: ....'. You know what i mean, right? But the point is, i don't have a point. I don't a summary. I can't fit all of what i just said into one more line. I simply CANNOT reinforce what i've said earlier with an awesome line. That's not how i roll. Not right now, anyway. But hey, i've got no readers anyway.

Just to clear the air, I actually thought about putting a paragraph here appeasing them American Idol fans, you know, them who love the show. I thought about putting up some stuff that'll make them hate me less, you know. Some stuff that'll make them sigh inwardly and say: "Ah, this dude's cool after all."

(Awkward Silence)

PS: Did you know that 'Come Together' was released in 1969? Yes. Nineteen 69. Has anyone made the connection?

Monday, June 22, 2009

The Sleep Cycle

I always used to wonder, when i was in school, about why my parents slept so early. They're adults, i figured, nobody tells them what to do! They can sleep whenever they want to. So why sleep early? I always used to feel mad inside when i was forced to sleep early (seeing that i had to get up early). What was the point, i used to ask myself, of sleeping early, if one wasn't sleepy?

Fast forward 5 years. I'm in my fifth and final year in college. My parents are all cool about pretty much everything now, and i sleep whenever i want to sleep, which basically means that i sleep when i feel sleepy. And do i feel awesome now? Do i feel better in the day as compared to how i felt when i used to have a definite sleep pattern? Sounds like quite the 'old fuck' talk, but think about it. Suppose all your friends slept at the same time as you (whatever time you want it to be), and were awake during the same hours as you, would you still sleep late? What kind of cycle would you keep, knowing that you wouldn't get bored when you're awake?

Of course, the moment parental pressure on me reduced, i used to stay up till 2 am at LEAST, which was a big deal for me. But this was mainly a revolt against my folks for not letting me sleep late. So we can discount that period of time.

Finally, the answer to all the questions mentioned earlier. Do i enjoy staying up late? Would i do it, given the scenarios mentioned earlier? The answer (for me, at least) is FUCK, YEAH! When i stay up late, i enjoy solitude, tranquility, and chill out time. This may sound gay, but it is fucking AWESOME! And when everyone else is asleep, the house is all mine. I can do what i want, provided i don't disturb them.

Of course, the only drawback is the fact that college is there in the morning the next day. If college were in the afternoon (for a short time span), then i think conditions would be ideal for a late sleep.

However, one must keep in mind that sleep should not be distributed over the course of the day. It should be in one go. This (in my case, at least) ensures no sleepiness for the rest of the day. Unless, of course, induced by boredom.

One final observation: meals. I find the 'eat what you want, when you want' policy quite effective. Although i generally tend to keep my first meal after getting up a breakfasty kinda meal.

PS: I'm allowed to use adjectives like 'gay', because the name of my blog is POLITICALLY INCORRECT TENDENCIES. Just to clear the air, though, when i say gay, i mean cliche. Of course, this doesn't mean that all gay dudes are cliche. No no. No.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

The Orientation/Anti-Grey Hair Love Song

I am Ishaan Krishna. That's right. Ishaan Krishna. A Punjabi name, with a Tamil sirname. The story of my life, really. The fence straddling me. Anyhow, i feel that this is not the appropriate time to reveal myself to you, the unsuspecting reader. Hence, i tap into what i'm feeling right now.

You might have heard the following saying, or at least a variation of it. Anyway:
"If you pluck a grey hair, 5 more will come up"

Well, it is my belief, that this, like quite a few other 'famous sayings', is one with a hidden agenda. I feel that it's made just to make people with grey hair feel better. There. I said it. It couldn't be more obvious. It's not like it's a revelation, you know. It's not like there was something about the saying that struck me so differently. I state the obvious here. There's nothing new in what you're reading.

Seeing that i'm saturated already, i think it's time to pack up. Maybe this 'blog' thing wasn't that good an idea anyway. I hope i manage to keep this up.

Finally, if you were expecting some politically incorrect thoughts, then you'll have to wait a lil' bit. Current saturation levels are breached.