Friday, December 25, 2009

It Could Get Worse

Today, i went to see a hindi movie. Let's examine that statement for a while. What could possibly prompt me, a serial hindi movie hater to put himself through 3 hours of pain? Here are some scenarios that are plausible. No prizes for guessing which ones aren't.
1. He (being me) was dragged along by friends/girlfriend/boyfriend/family. We all know that his friends don't watch hindi movies, at least not the ones who drag him to movies anyway. We know for sure that he isn't in what is termed as a relationship, with either sex (and yes, he does specialize in self-cans). However, we do know that, just as James Cameron decided that his next project would be based on the work of David Firth, his folks from outta town are in town. So maybe they dragged him along in an effort to include him in some family outing.

2. He saw a trailer of the hindi movie and enjoyed it immensely. This hence justifies his need to watch the movie. It however, does not justify his so called heterosexual stance.

3. He was eating food whilst inebriated, and you can't really blame anyone for being inebriated. The obvious argument is that he doesn't do any inebriating devices, and that one can't just throw food in there because he likes food. But then, what is obvious these days?

4. He was wandering aimlessly with an eye patch over his good eye and ended up in Sterling instead of the vasectomy clinic he was looking for. Get it? Comment if you don't; and yes it actually does mean something.

5. He mistook the hindi movie for the newly released 'Avataar'.

6. He went for a hindi screening of 'Avataar'.

7. Avataar.

Anyway, before i got sidetracked a bit there, i was talking about the hindi movie i went for. Now, i categorize my thoughts:

My Expectations:
I went to the movie expecting a badly edited; badly dubbed two-bagger. I went there expecting to laugh my ass off at the expectations of the director from the audience. I went there, expecting to be entertained by the badness of the movie.

My Reactions:
The movie, surprisingly has sync sound, so that, in addition to being a welcome surprise, also made the movie look semi-professional. The sync sound guys did do a good job there. The movie has no 'songs' in the general hindi-movie way. What is does have is a very prominent score, and here they do score some points (I'm indulging myself there) in my eyes. The score is reasonably well done, with flashes of awesomeness. What with the sync sound and good score, the movie's audio does do very well. The editing and shooting style, apart from being pointless at some points (hah!), is sometimes just lazy. I counted 5 continuity errors in my first viewing; and i'm sure more will come up if i ever do see the movie again. The acting is good, but like all hindi movies is generally exaggerated. I see this as a fault of the director, as they expect this kind of acting; so this is what the actors provide. By actors, i mean actors and actresses, of course. But i refuse to satisfy feminists, for their satisfaction levels are like Chelsea's transfer funds.

All in all, the movie isn't bad. It does drag at some points, but don't all movies? Of course not, but that made for a nice line, didn't it? I like asking the reader questions, it makes them think. It makes you think. Even better is providing the answers after the questions. This makes you think the way i want you to, doesn't it? You're homosexual.

PS: Vampire Weekend - Cousins

Monday, December 21, 2009

Pain, Misery & Doubt

Yet again, we experience pain and misery; and yet again, we have all the excuses to defend ourselves. But yet again, we were pathetic. It's just like those fantasy football games we all used to play. Each team had three formation options going into each match-attacking, defensive and counter-attacking. Defensive worked best against counter attacking; attacking worked best against defensive; and counter attacking worked best against attacking. From this we can figure out what won't work against what.

Stating facts: Portsmouth fielded an immensely creative and attacking formation. Liverpool fielded an extremely defensive formation, in addition to a left back in midfield. Logic said that Liverpool were going into this one hoping for some Torres magic and a 1-0 win or a draw at the very least. Logic also said that Portsmouth were going into this one looking for a win over a team badly lacking confidence. Fuck Logic, i said. We have Torres, and in him alone, we have a counter attacking presence like none other. That bit didn't work out too well either.

Of course, it can be argued that Dossena is pathetic at the back, and his only real skill lies in his creativity and his forward forages. The fact remains that he is simply not Riera, Aurelio or even Babel, for that matter. It can also be argued that with Torres in front, Liverpool were as close to counter attacking as they could get. Yet again, it seems that the best goals are always scored against Liverpool; and yet again, it seems that the referees just don't like us.

I'll still defend us when them Mancs try to shove their noses in our butt cracks; but will i really believe it? Is it really the end of Rafa? Mark Hughes has gone, and will Rafa go too? God knows that if anyone's a bandwagon humping cowboy, it's the esteemed 'owner' of Liverpool, so will he look for the quick fix, or will he stick with the fans?

There's just too much doubt. When i see the Liverpool's starting eleven, i don't see creativity and a top four squad. It doesn't matter who's to blame, i just don't see it. I see Arsenal, City, Villa, Chelski and even the fucking Mancs' quality, and i don't see the same in Liverpool. It's no surpise that fucking Birmingham are above us right now.

I don't care if we don't make the top 6, i just want to see some heart, man. Where is the fucking heart? What defines Steven Gerrard? His skill, speed, accuracy, passing ability or his sheer ability to motivate?

Keep the fucking faith, Liverpool.

PS: You'll Never Walk Alone - Gerry & The Pacemakers

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Two Album Reviews & Why One Must Hate Luke Kenny

Now, before i make my point, i ask you to go back to your kid days-when you were an amateur music listener. When i was a kid, i listened to what my friends told me to listen to and that pretty much defined what i liked. My friends at the time listened to hindi music, hip hop and pop; so i chose from what they gave me and naturally ended up liking stuff like Blue, Backstreet Boys, 50 Cent, and Bombay Rockers. You can laugh now, but that's what i liked, and to be fair, noone introduced me to the awesomeness that i spend my time listening to now. But the point i'm trying to make is this: we've all had our faggoty-music-listening-to-days; whether we admit it or not; and stuff like that does sound good, even if we don't admit it or even stop listening to it completely.

Now, with my new found musical tolerance, i find that i'm able to appreciate everything. Of course, there'll always be the odd Karun, Harry and Bhende laughing at me for listening to what i'm listening to, but who the fuck cares? I listen to what i like, and i like what i listen to. I have no patience whatsoever for musical judgers. Hence, i go ahead with what will soon be termed as the most faggoty thing i've ever done.

Album: Here We Go Again by Demi Lovato

After listening listening to this album, one of the first things you'll want to see is whether she can pull it off live; and i was extremely sceptical before i went to THE YOUTUBE! I managed to find two live performances of the title track and 'Solo'; and i was fucking blown away. I didn't hear ONE off note; and these aren't easy songs either. I rate her above Brandon Boyd in note perfection, and that's saying something (Incubus, for those who don't know who he is). In fact, i had a strong feeling she was lip syncing, but i double checked with a cam recording of a different performance of the title track; and she really isn't. She is THAT awesome. Just listen to her album.

Anyway, now that the rant is over, the actual content of the album: It's basically a Pop-Rock album; a lot like what one would expect Avril Lavigne to do, only a lot brasher musically. Avril may have more persona, but her music lacks the awesome Rock feel that this album has. Of course the album has the usual boy-centric songs and the pop elements and all of that, but it's all done really well, and the beauty of it all is that the band pulls it all off live. In addition to all the soft, heavy and pop elements that she incorporates in her album, she also has a song that sounds like her take on Amy Winehouse-Every Time You Lie. Yet again, the lyrics are cheesy, but really, when has that ever been a problem? Iron Maiden listeners should agree.

I haven't really done justice to it, but it really is an awesome album. Even if it'll probably be the soundtrack for every teen movie there is.

Album 2: New Moon Sound Track

I was reading HT Cafe the other day (the music section-the only worthwhile page there is in that tripe), and i came across some album reviews by Luke Kenny. Now, ordinarily i'd just gloss over it all and move on, but seeing that i now have an unlimited download scheme; i decided to give his opinions a test. He gave the New Moon Soundtrack a 4/5, and this piqued my curiosity. So i decided to download the album. I've regretted this decision ever since. Don't do it, just don't. I heard every song except for the Death Cab For Cutie and Muse songs, and i was sorely disappointed. Out of respect for the two bands i actually like, i will not listen to those songs. You know, i'm not even gonna waste more space or time on this. Just don't do it. I give it a 0.5/5. I actually rate it, that's how much i hate it.

The moral: don't trust Luke Kenny's opinion, he's just another asshole.

By the way, here's a funny story. This instrumental band managed to get through to the Launchpad qualifying rounds. You know, the ones with the panel of judges and all. Anyway, before the band started their qualification round performance, Luke Kenny stopped them and said: "You can't perform as an instrumental band, you've gotta have a vocalist". They argued for a bit and then didn't play. But yes, that, to me, is a little fucked up on Luke Kenny's part.

PS: Jamiroquai - Too Young To Die; Demi Lovato - Every Time You Lie; Electric Light Orchestra - Four Little Diamonds.

Playing On Time

When it comes to studio recording, most musicians get really nervous because of that dreaded click; and i was one of them, till i realized the secret behind playing in time. The secret is what i refer to as the three con's of recording.


One must always listen to the click and ensure that one is in control of the accents and in tempo. One must know the song well enough to listen to the click and not concentrate on the actual content. One should never just listen to the accents and ignore the rest (pretty much); continuous listening is required. One must always be conscious of the click's presence and keep it in mind. Most importantly, one must concentrate on the click. One sees awesome musicians grooving and looking really cool while playing in time; they've either just gotten used to high concentration levels or are hiding their concentration. With these three simple steps conquered, one can effectively play in time (pretty much).

However, the most important part is practise with a click track. A person who has recorded before will be much more at ease with a click track that someone who hasn't; and someone with a decent level of experience will definitely be better at staying in time.

And that concludes my preachy seminar. I only wish i were good with a click track.

PS: Good Love Is On The Way - John Mayer Trio.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

How Can Anyone Hate It?

It's been a while since i've felt this feeling. I just watched Ocean's Twelve, and really, it's been a while. The other day, i heard someone telling someone else about how Movie and T.V. standards are going down; and at the time, i snorted to myself. What a fucking cynic, i thought; go make love to your uncle who can quote every line from Airplane if you love it so much. Of course, at the time my thoughts weren't so harsh, but it makes for a good story. Anyway, as i was saying: What a fucking movie.

This other friend of mine kept going on about the awesomeness of the humour in the Ocean's series; and i just kinda phased those statements out. Now, however, with two thirds of that journey complete, i realize that he was so fucking right. I've never seen humour like this. When the movie started out, i laughed a lot; by the time it really kicked in, i was still laughing my ass off; and by the end, well, i was still laughing. I love subliminal humour. Anyway, at the beginning of the movie, i felt like i was going to watch the American interpretation of a Guy Ritchie movie, and it seemed disgusting at the time. Now it just doesn't seem true. By the time the movie really kicked in, i felt like i would have to wiki the movie after to understand everything; and this disgusted me. Now, i realize that it was supposed to make me feel that way. By the time the movie reached the ending, i truly realized and understood what Demi and Harry had been saying all along- that it is just fucking awesome.

If you put that many awesome actors together in one movie, it's gotta be good, right? The argument seems fair now, but it's deeper that just that. Incorporation of so many superstars with equally justifiable roles must've been a nightmare, but it's paid off. I don't know about box office returns or whatever, but it's paid off in my eyes; and a satisfied viewer is all that a movie maker should really look for, isn't it? How idealistic of me.

One thought that comes to mind after watching it is: I'm sure Matt Damon did what Halle Berry did after X-Men 2. Halle Berry refused to come back for X-Men 3 unless they gave her a more 'significant' role; and so they did. The movie still was awesome, but i did lose a bit of respect for Halle Berry. Just a bit. Anyway, i'm sure Matt Damon did the same thing; but the movie was still awesome, so i don't really care that much.

I'm still reeling from the film's awesomeness. I'm glad i didn't watch this one with my parents.

Interesting trivia from the movie's soundtrack: The main theme has a complex poly rhythm. There are two clear parts which are at different tempos, but they aren't overlapping. They are played one after the other in a verse-chorus sorta format. I hope this makes you listen to the theme. Or at least wiki Poly Rhythms.

By The Way, the feeling i refer to in the first line of this post is the awesome feeling one experiences after watching an awesome movie. Just to clarify.

PS: Rob Thomas - Wonderful, Fire On The Mountain; and for those who haven't heard his earlier songs-Lonely No More, This Is How A Heart Breaks.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

The Result Outstrips The Aim

That, my friends, is an awesome line. It's a shame that it doesn't mean anything. What i'm trying to say is that i wanted to start Pitendencies as a place where i vent; say all the stuff that isn't Politically Correct; and be fucking racist, man. Just because i can't normally. I don't need to say that i'm not racist, but i hate the fact that i can't be racist. That was my initial aim.

Of course, the awesome thing to say now would be that i really love the way this has turned out, and that it was all worth it. I honestly don't know.

I try to reach my initial aim and be all PI, but i seembly cannot. Simply, really. You can't force yourself to write, now, can you? That's a complete lie, of course you can; but the point is this: yet again, i have no point.

PS: The Virgins - Rich Girls. I've heard their other songs are shit, but who cares, really.