The Return Part II & The Humour Of Andrei Arshavin

The Website In Question

I'll first deal with the Return. I haven't had any drive to do a post, and i had also forgotten the rush that comes along with a post. I think i should start being more regular now. Forgive the initial grammar lapses, they should go soon. With luck, i'll be a regular blogger again. I had to put this before the main post.

Incidentally, this is the first post in which i've copied my facebook note onto my blog. So sorry about that as well, but i've adapted it to the blog ka format. So it should work out.

You know, i've always wondered whether sports celebrities are funny people. Think about it, an actor or a model or that kind of celebrity would either have started off as a cool person; or become cool because of the constant contact with cool people. Sportsmen/women recieve as much if not more admiration from fans; so are they, in fact cool; or are they just glorified lame ass pansies? You may never know.

However, in some cases, it is exceedingly obvious. Have a look at this:

http://arshavin.eu

That's the official website for Andrei Arshavin. Havitty a lookie, and getta backie.

(continue reading this after you've been through the website. You have to go to the link given above. If you can't use that, then just type out "Andrei Arshavin official website" on google and go to his official website. NOT his wiki page, you idiots!)

Now, there are two possibilities that i see. He is either a fucking bored idiot with a bit too much money, and over enthusiastic marketing amateurs; or a fucking genius. His answers to all the questions that fans ask him are so cleverly answered that you can never tell whether he's being genuinely stupid or he's fucking with the fans. Respect, Andrei.

A few instances:

Dear AA, having read your answers I’ve got the impression (perhaps I’m wrong) that you are bored of life!
Sincerely, Africa
Arshavin: I find life interesting.

Andrey, why do you wear those long shorts? You do not like the former style?
Short shorts made the slender legs more visible. Or maybe footballers’ figures became worse and they’ve developed a lot of complexes? And why do you shave you legs?
Arshavin: I don’t shave my legs. As for the uniform, we wear what we are given.

Andrey, do you need apples? We’ve harvested a lot of them this year!
My friends also have a lot of apples and they don’t take mine. But they are so tasty and sweet, especially “white juice”. It is a pity that they’ll go bad...
Arshavin: I love apples, but on the other hand, I think there are many other deserving people who will accept your apples.

From natalina
Are you lucky with your mother-in-law?
Arshavin: I think, yes.

Hi Andrey, I bet nobody has ever asked you this and nobody ever will, I’m sure: what color is your bath sponge?
Arshavin: Blue.

I rest my case.

PS: It does, indeed feel good. But i don't think i'd have been able to do it directly here. So in a way, it's a good thing that the facebook medium thing happened. Also, Cake - Commissioning a Symphony In C; Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps; Frank Sinatra; World Of Two. I can go on.

Manchester United Haters Anonymous

Let me start off by noting the significance of this date: it is the 20th of September, 2009. 20/09/2009, that is. 20092009, if you haven't got it yet.

Now, before i make my point with this post, there is a little information that you, the reader must know, especially those who don't follow football much. See, before this English Premier League season started, Manchester City was bought over by some rich fuckers who shoved all their money into Mark Hughes' ass in an attempt to bring in quality to their side (which they were painfully lacking). Mark Hughes, in response to the ass money shoving goes on a buying spree, bringing in players from all over. From among these players, he brought in Adebayor and Toure from Arsenal; and Tevez from Manchester United. There were a lot of other players brought in as well, but these were the high profile/controversial transfers. So now, Manchester City has become something of a super-squad of players from all over, much like Chelsea started their own spree about 4 years ago. Now, the transfers i mentioned were controversial because the players were integral players to their respective teams, and these players themselves claimed to be 'loyal'. You get the drift. So naturally, these players are hated by their old club fans for their hypocrisy, and this is justified. Anyway, Manchester City played Arsenal a couple of weeks back, and the hostility between the fans and Adebayor was pretty evident, and it escalated to a near dangerous level after the game. The fans, especially were screaming and booing at him from all angles; and he didn't exactly try and win them over himself. This week, Manchester City traveled to their age old rivals Manchester United, from whom they had taken Tevez before this season started. Throughout and before the game, Tevez maintained a sombre demeanour, showing no signs of aggression. His football remained the same, but his attitude was remarkably happy; and he ignored all the booing that the Manchester United fans were throwing at him. The fans, on the other hand, kept booing him more and more every time he touched the ball; and they didn't stop at any point in the game.

In interests of saving time, from now on, Manchester United is called 'United' and Manchester City is called 'City'.

I tried not keeping that too biased, but anyway, here's my theory: the United fans saw the extreme hatred of Adebayor and Toure that the Arsenal fans harboured, they, being the bandwagon humping chawnds that they are, immediately started the anti-Tevez furore. Adebayor publicly dissed Arsenal and it's fans; and therefore earned (or justified) his hatred. Tevez didn't do any of that; and yet suffered a whole lot more than he deserved. Even though he didn't show it, i'm sure he felt it; and he must be applauded for playing superbly under pressure (what a Harsha Bhogle sentence that is).

I hence hate Manchester United fans for their bandwagon tendencies and overtly dramatical theatrics. Fuck you, Man yew.

A lot of my friends are Man U fans, and true to the custom, they too have that fucking superiority complex that they don't deserve. Manchester United are exactly what Leeds are portrayed as in 'Damned United'; and Surd Alex is truly just a wannabe Clough.

PS: I appreciate Rooney's skills, and i'm dazzled by Evra, but that doesn't take away from the point of this post. Let Me Entertain You - Robbie Williams and Slow Cheetah - Red Hot Chili Peppers.