Unwanted Opinions Anonymous

**I may add, before you read this, that i repeatedly use words that, in India are called "Them Four Letter Words" in this post. Just a warning. To put it bluntly, i use certain expressions in the English language that are used in slang and refer to extremely sexual or dirty things but are actually used either to convey disgust, as expressions of catharsis or for point-emphasis. I apologize for this if you are put off by it. But please bear with me.

I am affected by opinions, be it for movies, music or even people. Sometimes, i call it peer pressure; sometimes i call it bandwagon humping tendencies; but the point is that as much as i hate it, i'm affected by what others think. Opinions make a difference. Just to clear the air, i'm not looking at this in a i-hate-when-people-hate-me sort of way but in a i-hate-when-people-tell-me-a-movie-sucks-when-it-actually-doesn't sort of way. In my opinion, anyway.

Allow me to posit a scenario:

Your friends are chilling together, and they call you to chill with 'em. You go wherever they are, and basically just sit back and relax with them. In this state of 'chilling out' or 'relaxing', several topics of discussion float around, such as women, sports, movies, friends etc. Suddenly, you go: "Dude, have you seen 'Trainspotting'? I'm dying to see it. I saw a bit and it looks insane!". Picture this: they all start laughing and say stuff like: "Fuck yourself, idiot", or "It sucks, idiot", or even "I hate blackcurrant ice cream. Mmmmmmmm." What emotions do you think you'll experience?

For starters, you won't finish the movie. Even if you do, it's ruined. Fucking opinion pushers. I liked 'The Love Guru', and a huge fucking middle finger to whoever didn't.

One cannot avoid opinions. Personally, i'd go crazy if everyone suddenly stopped putting their opinions forth and became very politically correct. The slang for politically correct is PC. Like the magician. Hyperlink! However, i hate vehement bad opinions. They put me off. Sometimes, i hate vehement good opinions as well, but it's the bad ones i detest. Anything in excess is bad. People who attach a lot of emotion with their opinions are unacceptable. People who stress and emphasise every point in the opinion are, unacceptable. Has your friend ever told you a snippet from a movie you haven't seen either to:

a) Get you to watch it, or

b) To make you think of the movie in a favourable light, or

c) To make you think of the friend in a favourable light.

It's time for a true story! Here goes it:

One day, my friend Karun just happened to be sleeping. He does sleep a lot, but he is, after all: Lazy Man (with his trusty sidekick: Lazy Boy). Anyway, because of his slumber, we were forced to go the movies without him. There, we saw "X-Men Origins: Wolverine". Now, as you may or may not know, the movie is shite. Comic lovers especially hated it for reasons that i refuse to get into. Personally, i loved the movie, but after hearing everything everyone else had to say, i kept this piece of information to myself. Moving on, everyone told my friend Karun that the movie sucked. For those who can't understand terminology usage or are from the past or the future, 'sucked' is a bad thing. Do not misinterpret this for your generation. Therefore, because of us, Karun did not have high expectations when he finally got down to seeing the movie; and because of this, he loved it. This is a perfect example of what i'm trying to say. Almost too perfect. But that's how life is. Seemingly too perfect.

PS: I like self referencing. It's why i love 30 Rock: see Season 1, Episode 5: Jack-Tor. I also like Baby I'm Yours - Arctic Monkeys; Dreaming Of You - The Coral and Friend Is A Four Letter Word - Cake.

How Can Anyone Hate It?

It's been a while since i've felt this feeling. I just watched Ocean's Twelve, and really, it's been a while. The other day, i heard someone telling someone else about how Movie and T.V. standards are going down; and at the time, i snorted to myself. What a fucking cynic, i thought; go make love to your uncle who can quote every line from Airplane if you love it so much. Of course, at the time my thoughts weren't so harsh, but it makes for a good story. Anyway, as i was saying: What a fucking movie.

This other friend of mine kept going on about the awesomeness of the humour in the Ocean's series; and i just kinda phased those statements out. Now, however, with two thirds of that journey complete, i realize that he was so fucking right. I've never seen humour like this. When the movie started out, i laughed a lot; by the time it really kicked in, i was still laughing my ass off; and by the end, well, i was still laughing. I love subliminal humour. Anyway, at the beginning of the movie, i felt like i was going to watch the American interpretation of a Guy Ritchie movie, and it seemed disgusting at the time. Now it just doesn't seem true. By the time the movie really kicked in, i felt like i would have to wiki the movie after to understand everything; and this disgusted me. Now, i realize that it was supposed to make me feel that way. By the time the movie reached the ending, i truly realized and understood what Demi and Harry had been saying all along- that it is just fucking awesome.

If you put that many awesome actors together in one movie, it's gotta be good, right? The argument seems fair now, but it's deeper that just that. Incorporation of so many superstars with equally justifiable roles must've been a nightmare, but it's paid off. I don't know about box office returns or whatever, but it's paid off in my eyes; and a satisfied viewer is all that a movie maker should really look for, isn't it? How idealistic of me.

One thought that comes to mind after watching it is: I'm sure Matt Damon did what Halle Berry did after X-Men 2. Halle Berry refused to come back for X-Men 3 unless they gave her a more 'significant' role; and so they did. The movie still was awesome, but i did lose a bit of respect for Halle Berry. Just a bit. Anyway, i'm sure Matt Damon did the same thing; but the movie was still awesome, so i don't really care that much.

I'm still reeling from the film's awesomeness. I'm glad i didn't watch this one with my parents.

Interesting trivia from the movie's soundtrack: The main theme has a complex poly rhythm. There are two clear parts which are at different tempos, but they aren't overlapping. They are played one after the other in a verse-chorus sorta format. I hope this makes you listen to the theme. Or at least wiki Poly Rhythms.

By The Way, the feeling i refer to in the first line of this post is the awesome feeling one experiences after watching an awesome movie. Just to clarify.

PS: Rob Thomas - Wonderful, Fire On The Mountain; and for those who haven't heard his earlier songs-Lonely No More, This Is How A Heart Breaks.

Movies with Folks

The best way to bond with family is a nice family outing, right? With no distractions and suchshite. Where the intent is just to chill out, relax and have a good time. More like a vacation, preferably far from home, but definitely away from it. Of course, in these hectic times, we don't get time for family bonding. So we resort to the next best option: Movies.

A Random Paragraph: People can be judged while watching movies. Most basically, they can be divided into two categories:

a) The Talkers: Them who talk throughout movies, who comment on every possible thing, try their best to discredit the movie, try their best to predict the outcome, and voice each and every thought that passes through their heads. Their enjoyment is directly proportional to the amount spent talking during the actual running of the film.

b) The Silent Watchers: Them who watch the movie in silence, taking in every detail, and appreciating every little nuance that the movie brings to you. They are ideal to have around if you don't understand what's going on in the movie. The movie must be paused for a sufficient explanation. For them, the most cathartic experience is a movie spent in total silence. Enjoyment is inversely proportional to the amount spoken (by anyone) during actual running time of the movie.

Anyway, as i was saying, family vacations became too much too often, so families decided to settle for a more cheap method of bonding: Movies. "The full family goes to watch a movie and bonds so well" is such a feel good sentence that every guilt-ridden family member aches to be able to say it out loud. While watching movies with family, a little enjoyment is tripled in the head of the watcher, just to appease his own dissonance. But still, you know, the comparatively more formal atmosphere of the movie hall can still control the family in terms of loud criticism.

More recently, with the introduction of piracy in people's daily lives, the family outing has been reduced to mere movie watching on the tv in the living room. Now the younger generation is asked to download movies on the computer, transfer them on to usb drive/cd/dvd and watch them via the dvd player. This is the extent to which the family outing has been diluted. Anyway, this isn't the point of this blog.

I watch movie occasionally with my folks, and i've grown to fucking hate it. They ruin the movie! -After Da Vinci Code, my father kept laughing every time we passed a gutter. He'd nudge me and tell me: "The tomb of Mary Magdalene is in there".

-After Harry Potter, my pop would keep poking me with wooden sticks and scream "Expecto Patronum"

I could give you more examples, but you get the idea.

Finally, to the point of this long (needless) post. I just saw Ocean's Eleven with my folks in my hall on the tv via dvd etc. I loved the movie. But i couldn't fucking enjoy it at ALL. My pop kept rambling about the importance of subtitles and he kept bitching about the strong accents. They kept losing dialogue, and i had to keep pausing and explaining. They never understood what was going on, and in the end, they just criticised the movie. They criticised Ocean's Fucking Eleven. THAT is how fucked up my movie-watching-with-parents-scene is.

Now, they're trying to convince me to watch Harry Potter with them. Sly fucks.