It Could Get Worse

Today, i went to see a hindi movie. Let's examine that statement for a while. What could possibly prompt me, a serial hindi movie hater to put himself through 3 hours of pain? Here are some scenarios that are plausible. No prizes for guessing which ones aren't.

1. He (being me) was dragged along by friends/girlfriend/boyfriend/family. We all know that his friends don't watch hindi movies, at least not the ones who drag him to movies anyway. We know for sure that he isn't in what is termed as a relationship, with either sex (and yes, he does specialize in self-cans). However, we do know that, just as James Cameron decided that his next project would be based on the work of David Firth, his folks from outta town are in town. So maybe they dragged him along in an effort to include him in some family outing.

2. He saw a trailer of the hindi movie and enjoyed it immensely. This hence justifies his need to watch the movie. It however, does not justify his so called heterosexual stance.

3. He was eating food whilst inebriated, and you can't really blame anyone for being inebriated. The obvious argument is that he doesn't do any inebriating devices, and that one can't just throw food in there because he likes food. But then, what is obvious these days?

4. He was wandering aimlessly with an eye patch over his good eye and ended up in Sterling instead of the vasectomy clinic he was looking for. Get it? Comment if you don't; and yes it actually does mean something.

5. He mistook the hindi movie for the newly released 'Avataar'.

6. He went for a hindi screening of 'Avataar'.

7. Avataar.

Anyway, before i got sidetracked a bit there, i was talking about the hindi movie i went for. Now, i categorize my thoughts:

My Expectations:

I went to the movie expecting a badly edited; badly dubbed two-bagger. I went there expecting to laugh my ass off at the expectations of the director from the audience. I went there, expecting to be entertained by the badness of the movie.

My Reactions:

The movie, surprisingly has sync sound, so that, in addition to being a welcome surprise, also made the movie look semi-professional. The sync sound guys did do a good job there. The movie has no 'songs' in the general hindi-movie way. What is does have is a very prominent score, and here they do score some points (I'm indulging myself there) in my eyes. The score is reasonably well done, with flashes of awesomeness. What with the sync sound and good score, the movie's audio does do very well. The editing and shooting style, apart from being pointless at some points (hah!), is sometimes just lazy. I counted 5 continuity errors in my first viewing; and i'm sure more will come up if i ever do see the movie again. The acting is good, but like all hindi movies is generally exaggerated. I see this as a fault of the director, as they expect this kind of acting; so this is what the actors provide. By actors, i mean actors and actresses, of course. But i refuse to satisfy feminists, for their satisfaction levels are like Chelsea's transfer funds.

All in all, the movie isn't bad. It does drag at some points, but don't all movies? Of course not, but that made for a nice line, didn't it? I like asking the reader questions, it makes them think. It makes you think. Even better is providing the answers after the questions. This makes you think the way i want you to, doesn't it? You're homosexual.

PS: Vampire Weekend - Cousins

Why So Honest?

I've just realized that i can't write about a lot of stuff here, because i've put my name on this site. Most of the people who do bother to read this will know me, but what if my family happens to stumbleUpon (i wish) this site? I mean, i don't want them to know some shite about me, man. Some shite that i have no issue telling everyone else. The answer is an anonymous blog. Yes. I will make a blog where i'll talk about all of my misdeeds etc, especially shite that i don't want my folks to know (For example, my WEED habits. Hah! Just a joke).

A special prize to he (not she, HE) who manages to find it!

PS: Women are allowed to search for it, i just don't like that they don't like when 'he' applies to humans in general. Fucking nakhreybaazes. I hate you, Reena.

Movies with Folks

The best way to bond with family is a nice family outing, right? With no distractions and suchshite. Where the intent is just to chill out, relax and have a good time. More like a vacation, preferably far from home, but definitely away from it. Of course, in these hectic times, we don't get time for family bonding. So we resort to the next best option: Movies.

A Random Paragraph: People can be judged while watching movies. Most basically, they can be divided into two categories:

a) The Talkers: Them who talk throughout movies, who comment on every possible thing, try their best to discredit the movie, try their best to predict the outcome, and voice each and every thought that passes through their heads. Their enjoyment is directly proportional to the amount spent talking during the actual running of the film.

b) The Silent Watchers: Them who watch the movie in silence, taking in every detail, and appreciating every little nuance that the movie brings to you. They are ideal to have around if you don't understand what's going on in the movie. The movie must be paused for a sufficient explanation. For them, the most cathartic experience is a movie spent in total silence. Enjoyment is inversely proportional to the amount spoken (by anyone) during actual running time of the movie.

Anyway, as i was saying, family vacations became too much too often, so families decided to settle for a more cheap method of bonding: Movies. "The full family goes to watch a movie and bonds so well" is such a feel good sentence that every guilt-ridden family member aches to be able to say it out loud. While watching movies with family, a little enjoyment is tripled in the head of the watcher, just to appease his own dissonance. But still, you know, the comparatively more formal atmosphere of the movie hall can still control the family in terms of loud criticism.

More recently, with the introduction of piracy in people's daily lives, the family outing has been reduced to mere movie watching on the tv in the living room. Now the younger generation is asked to download movies on the computer, transfer them on to usb drive/cd/dvd and watch them via the dvd player. This is the extent to which the family outing has been diluted. Anyway, this isn't the point of this blog.

I watch movie occasionally with my folks, and i've grown to fucking hate it. They ruin the movie! -After Da Vinci Code, my father kept laughing every time we passed a gutter. He'd nudge me and tell me: "The tomb of Mary Magdalene is in there".

-After Harry Potter, my pop would keep poking me with wooden sticks and scream "Expecto Patronum"

I could give you more examples, but you get the idea.

Finally, to the point of this long (needless) post. I just saw Ocean's Eleven with my folks in my hall on the tv via dvd etc. I loved the movie. But i couldn't fucking enjoy it at ALL. My pop kept rambling about the importance of subtitles and he kept bitching about the strong accents. They kept losing dialogue, and i had to keep pausing and explaining. They never understood what was going on, and in the end, they just criticised the movie. They criticised Ocean's Fucking Eleven. THAT is how fucked up my movie-watching-with-parents-scene is.

Now, they're trying to convince me to watch Harry Potter with them. Sly fucks.